Choosing between my fear and my dream: What do I mean when I say "be fearless"?

Quote of the Week: Choose to be fearless. -Angela Hayes

When I say “be fearless'“ I don’t mean to be without fear, fear is a perfectly valid and reasonable emotion. When I whisper to myself “be fearless”, I am saying “choose your dreams over your fear.” I am whispering, “don’t let fear be the reason you step back.”

I have big lofty goals for myself and a backpack full of potential stumbling blocks and challenges to getting there. Moving towards those goals has never been easy but some moments have been so hard that taking the next step felt impossible.

It was so hard that taking the next step felt impossible.

The moment that “be fearless” became my personal motto and mantra was just such a moment. The universe had just taken a giant crap on my life, if you will excuse the crudeness, and I was staggering. What I wanted to do with my life, to be a life coach, a psychotherapist, and to work for myself, felt really far away. I had to jumpstart my dream and I was terrified that I would fail. I started this practice, Life Coach Round Rock, with almost nothing. I had just started my master’s degree program to become a marriage and family therapist. I had a bachelor’s degree in psychology, a life coaching certification, and a dream of having my own practice and working for myself but I had no money, no clients, and no reputation.

I chose a name. I made a business card with a logo that is completely different than the one I currently have and built a website that is nothing like the one you are enjoying today. The name is the only thing besides me that stuck. At three months I had no clients and was in the red financially. My fear was so big and success seemed impossible. Nothing I was trying was working. I was failing. My fear was whispering, “You’re a failure.” I almost gave up.

I really thought about what it would mean to give up and just walk away, letting my dream of having my own practice die and go back to working for someone else. In a moment of complete clarity, I realized I would rather keep failing at this until I figured out how to get it right than do anything else. I realized that I was making choices from a place of PLANNING TO FAIL in order to catch myself when it happened and it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I realized I had to set aside my fear in order to succeed.

I realized that I was making choices from a place of PLANNING TO FAIL in order to catch myself when it happened and it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I had to CHOOSE to be fearless. I had to CHOOSE my dreams over my fear. I had to see that fear, acknowledge it, and then set it aside and do it anyway. I had to fail, and I absolutely did, then pick myself up, figure out what went wrong, and then try again and again and again until something worked.

I had to CHOOSE to be fearless. I had to CHOOSE my dreams over my fear.

Today, I have a thriving practice doing what I love and doing it in a way that is just right for me. Every day is an exercise in figuring things out by trying something to see what works and what doesn’t. My next goal is on the horizon and I am still choosing to be fearless. To say yes to things that feel too big and no to things that look good but won’t take me in the right direction. I hope my story inspires you to be fearless too.

May your dreams be big, beautiful, and bold!

May you choose to be fearless,

Angela Hayes (she/her), MS, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist-Associate, Master Certified Life Coach